STEPS QUESTIONS & ANSWERS

What I have noticed from your question firstly is that you view your step-child as your wife's child which is where the problem begins. If you don't see that you are also a parent to your step-child you will do things differently and it will be noticed.

Have a vested interest in your step-child as you would for your child. Even if you had suggested to your wife that you would like to send your step-child to private school, when you make the same decision for your child that you have together, it won't be seen as you taking only an interest in your child.

The mistake a lot of step-parents make is that they want to do one thing for their own children and don't seem too bothered about their step-children.

6. I feel my partner's ex interferes too much. My partner has two children with her and she uses that as an excuse anytime their children are over. She's always on the phone to find out what I've fed them, what time they went to bed, if I shouted at them and all sorts of other questions.

I've told my partner that I don't like it that he needs to tell her when the children are with us they are okay so she doesn't have to call so much but he thinks it's just her way of showing that she cares when they are not with her. Is this the case?

If this relationship is new, then I would say that it's probably innocent. If on the other hand the relationship is not so new I would say that you should be patient with the situation for two reasons.

Firstly, she could just be trying to make things difficult, knowing that this interference will cause tension between you and your partner. If this is the case, try not to let it bother you and when she sees this she will probably stop interfering.

Secondly she could just be missing her children and just want to make sure they are okay which is why she's asking so many questions. I believe that if this is the case, with time it will also pass. If the children are always saying they are fine and everything is okay, there will be nothing to fuel contention so eventually the frequent calls and questions will stop.

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