| Trust and disclosure in step-families
Trust is very important in any relationship. If there is no trust then it will make the relationship a bit shaky. If you choose to keep some information from your partner, first of all consider why you want to keep the information, will you tell them later or never at all, when would be the right time, is there a possibility that they could find out from someone else, is it worth losing your relationship over if they did find out simply because you thought it was better not to tell?
Some partners, both men and women, have chosen not to be in a child's life for one reason or another. The most common ones for men are because they felt the woman trapped them or they don't believe the child is theirs. For women it may be they gave the child up either for adoption or to the father because they were not ready to take on motherhood.
Whatever the case is, they may choose not to disclose this information when they enter into a new relationship, as they do not play a part in the child's life. This information, if it comes out later, can have an affect on the relationship.
The lives that one has lived in the past can also be something that is out of a new relationship.
What you decide to disclose in any relationship is up to you. Ask yourself some of the questions listed above and put yourself in your partners' shoes and decide if you would want such information kept from you.
The fact that you are entering into a relationship with children already present means that any disappointment that you may cause is not only to you but also to the children that exist. You don't only hurt a partner but you hurt the children too.
Your past does not have to be a bad thing, if you have changed from that and the change is evident. Or if you are seen to be trying to make amends for a decision that you made when you were probably less mature than you are now. Remember trust is important. If your partner knows that he or she can trust you then you can weather any storm.
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